Let's Talk About Sex!

Is it time for the revolution? Gaddamit! Why is SEX still such a controversial subject in my country.  Everybody doing it! Well just about everybody and if no one does it then there goes your legacy and mine. We have been coerced into viewing SEX as such a negative thing so much that adult novelty stores are still very taboo places. The public makes you feel as though you are are committing a crime while some customers make you feel as if you are selling them drugs.  I mean I know some of our vibrators are very addictive but they are very much legal. 

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Teen pregnancy and "sweethearting" (adultery) are still prevalent social ills in our country, yet everyone walks around as though they are all virgins.  Maybe it is time to peel back this layer of stigma and have a conversation about SEX.  Let's start telling the truth to our young people.  We should continue tell them that SEX is not always great especially when you are not responsible and it results in unwanted and unplanned pregnancies or sexually transmitted diseases.  It's also good to tell them that SEX also requires an level of emotional maturity.  Engaging in sexual activity with a lack of intimacy could result in a variety of negative emotions such as insecurity, anxiety or depression. Let them in on the secret that SEX can be awful and unfulfilling especially when you or your partner have no clue.  Maybe some of them will not feel like you are trying to deprive them of heaven as SEX is often depicted as such.   Tell them that SEX can also be addictive like anything that is done in excess instead of just telling them to wait. Tell them that despite feelings of euphoria, SEX lasts on average up to 44 minutes and all of your problems are still there after it's done. Thus it is a very temporary happiness.   In this age of the internet, remind them that sometimes you cannot trust people when they decide to create videos and send nude photos. Don't just preach abstinence  but inform them of the possible consequences when engaging in sexual activity prematurely.

Now to you big men and women, why is SEX still so ah keke? Grow up! I can understand curiosity but you lose me with this unspoken joke. You have at least two sexual partners who you are probably "skinning" (engaging in unprotected sex) but there is still something hysterically funny about a vibrator. Oh. Ok. Or better yet,  you have someone whole husband, singing on the praise team every Sunday but you would dare not be seen in an adult store even if you simply had to use the restroom. STOP IT! And to the guys, I haven't forgotten you. Maybe if your partners told you the truth, NO you are not the best they have ever had, NO they are not satisfied and YES they are faking it 100% of the time you would realize that YES you actually do need the help that you think you do not. Then maybe, just maybe people would not seek pleasure and real intimacy outside of their agreed upon relationships.  

Even more importantly if people would live their TRUTH- the real one, the unadulterated gospel, then maybe we would have more sexually mature and responsible people.  Like who you like! If you are attracted to big girls please stop pretending to like slim girls because your boys think slim girls are prettier or better or whatever they tell themselves that makes them sleep better at night.  If you like guys who are dark skinned, please stop bringing home light skinned guys to please mama, because guess what, she is not the one who has to be in a relationship with that person.  If you kinky please don't go around cheating because you don't want your partner to find out.  I have found that in some cases your partner is up for it and more.  Talk to them, tell them what you like, what pleases you and find out what they like and what pleases them.  If necessary, seek out an intimacy coach such as Ms. Reva Dean @revaafterdark and get help in bringing new life to your sexual relationship.

I always advocate the need for communication. We need to be more open about SEX as a society, within our homes, our relationships, our schools and our religions. We need to embrace the fact that we are sexual beings and that SEX is normal.  Get over it already!                                                                                                                       

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